My ten year blogging anniversary came and went (May 22). I swear I wrote up a little celebratory post, but I can't find it now. Then it all flew past my memory until this morning. This morning I was jogging the downhill parts of the Lagoon Trail while listening to Hamilton ("Just like my country, I am young scrappy and hungry!") and POOF! I remembered. And I wondered all over again...how in the world have I kept uploading photos, and documenting the small details of our life for 10 years? Other than my LDS mission, where it was part of our schedule, I have never consistently kept a journal (even that was spotty) and here I am 10 years later with blogging...when blogging isn't even cool anymore...still going strong.
Most blogs that have been going that long are making money by now, or have a huge readership, or share super creative information, or are really thoughtful people who have a smart commentary on the world. None of these apply to me. Just photos of my daily grind peppered with the triumphs and tragedies of our lives. Only family and a handful of friends read it (and someone in Russia).
One of my big flaws is that I care too much what others think, I "hustle for approval" as Berne Brown puts it. However, I realized recently that I must not care THAT much if I can honestly publicly document my life for 10 years. I am fully aware that when I gush about say....our trip to California some people are shaking their heads at our small potatoes lifestyle....and on the other side there are people who feel like I am bragging. Add to that all the grammatical errors, sentence structure problems, AND content only a handful of people care about.
But I hit "Publish" over and over and next thing you know 10 years have gone by.
I really had to think about why the judgement and imperfection, and societal shame doesn't keep me from writing. I believe my secret is that I don't think about it. I really don't. I hit publish and move on. I don't even edit much to Darin's chagrin (he is a very thorough technical writer at work probably edits his stuff at least 3 times), but if he is embarrassed of his wife he never says a word about it. Sometimes he lets me know if a word is misspelled. He use to go fix them himself but being my editor was too big of a job for him. If he would have ever told me I was embarrassing him, I never would have kept it up, because to put so much weight on his opinion. Bless him for that because we now have an imperfect scruffy first draft of our life together!
Another thing that helped the longevity is that I deleted comment capability after the first year. I realized early in blogging that getting comments was exciting, addicting even. I met lots of great women, and was inspired daily by them. The downside was that I started getting distracted from engaging in my daily life by virtually engaging in theirs. I remember one day checking my comments every 1/2 hour and going over in my mind what I could post about that would bring the most comments. My mood rose and fell depending on who was paying attention to me. I was thrilled when lots of people commented and I was sad when no one did. I had to decide why I was spending my time this way. Was this going to be a career? Was I going to try and be a writer? Did I have anything new I was dying to share with the world? Lots of people answer yes to this and I am so glad they do because I enjoy their blogs so much to this day.
It wasn't me though. I am better in real life. I think my talents and what I add to the world is face to face not virtual to virtual. I get antsy after about 1 hour sitting at a computer. I learn better through mutual conversations and hands on activities than I do through research. I care too much about too many subjects it's hard for me to narrow my focus to just one. Sometimes I dearly wish I had 1 solid passion that would keep me focused on one thing so I could get really accomplished in one area. I wish I was an introvert who was happy being alone for long stretches of time to really hone my talents. In full discloser I sometimes wish I had a life do-over where I would have made different decisions.
My one passion, the one thing I never get sick of, the thing I don't want a do-over about, is my family (well...I do get sick of them but I always want to reengage.....eventually). I know that I have put every ounce of energy, thought and love I have into my husband and my kids and I want to remember every second of it. Selfishly, I also want them to remember every second of it as well! I know that I have made mistakes and failed my kids and Darin, but I want them to know that I gave them the best that was in me. I want one more way that I can tell them I love them and that I feel lucky I get to go through life with them.
I have been writing for the specific audience of my kids, my husband, and our parents for the last 9 or so years. Turns out that is pretty dang motivating to me.
But I hit "Publish" over and over and next thing you know 10 years have gone by.
I really had to think about why the judgement and imperfection, and societal shame doesn't keep me from writing. I believe my secret is that I don't think about it. I really don't. I hit publish and move on. I don't even edit much to Darin's chagrin (he is a very thorough technical writer at work probably edits his stuff at least 3 times), but if he is embarrassed of his wife he never says a word about it. Sometimes he lets me know if a word is misspelled. He use to go fix them himself but being my editor was too big of a job for him. If he would have ever told me I was embarrassing him, I never would have kept it up, because to put so much weight on his opinion. Bless him for that because we now have an imperfect scruffy first draft of our life together!
Another thing that helped the longevity is that I deleted comment capability after the first year. I realized early in blogging that getting comments was exciting, addicting even. I met lots of great women, and was inspired daily by them. The downside was that I started getting distracted from engaging in my daily life by virtually engaging in theirs. I remember one day checking my comments every 1/2 hour and going over in my mind what I could post about that would bring the most comments. My mood rose and fell depending on who was paying attention to me. I was thrilled when lots of people commented and I was sad when no one did. I had to decide why I was spending my time this way. Was this going to be a career? Was I going to try and be a writer? Did I have anything new I was dying to share with the world? Lots of people answer yes to this and I am so glad they do because I enjoy their blogs so much to this day.
It wasn't me though. I am better in real life. I think my talents and what I add to the world is face to face not virtual to virtual. I get antsy after about 1 hour sitting at a computer. I learn better through mutual conversations and hands on activities than I do through research. I care too much about too many subjects it's hard for me to narrow my focus to just one. Sometimes I dearly wish I had 1 solid passion that would keep me focused on one thing so I could get really accomplished in one area. I wish I was an introvert who was happy being alone for long stretches of time to really hone my talents. In full discloser I sometimes wish I had a life do-over where I would have made different decisions.
My one passion, the one thing I never get sick of, the thing I don't want a do-over about, is my family (well...I do get sick of them but I always want to reengage.....eventually). I know that I have put every ounce of energy, thought and love I have into my husband and my kids and I want to remember every second of it. Selfishly, I also want them to remember every second of it as well! I know that I have made mistakes and failed my kids and Darin, but I want them to know that I gave them the best that was in me. I want one more way that I can tell them I love them and that I feel lucky I get to go through life with them.
I have been writing for the specific audience of my kids, my husband, and our parents for the last 9 or so years. Turns out that is pretty dang motivating to me.
