I threw a little (ie short but loud) fit the other day. Its good that these things happen every once and awhile so that I remember what it's like in the head and hearts of my kids when they lose it. It's just like spaghetti noodles boiling over...growing growing until things just spill. Afterwards...after regretting 90% of what I said, I realized with the help of Darin, that I was once again trying to "make" my kids feel happy and not feel disappointment. I have a hard time remembering what I can and can not control. My kids emotions is strongly in the "cannot control" camp but I still hustle to make everything happy and good. I am not doing them or myself any favors. The hustle is time and mind consuming, it doesn't work, AND we will probably need to get all the kids therapists so they can learn that it's alright....nay...necessary to feel bad yucky feelings.
Disappointment, loneliness, boredom, fear, anxiety, despair all unavoidable in life, each person needs to develop their own coping/calming strategies.
Eureak!! I think I just now realized why this is so hard for me! Calming and soothing them WAS my job for a really long time! That was my purpose when they were born, and I was damn good at it if I do say so myself. This emotional weaning is so much harder than the physical one.
Anyway.....
So I just love this photo. I just love these guys. I just love how they love to play video games together, and watch birds, and notice little things.
Byron is whittling down his Battle of the Books list. He is a voracious reader when it's a funny sci-fi, fantasy book or an encyclopedia type book, but true to life fictions are harder for him to get into. I love that this program forces him to stretch his preferred reading genre.
Miriam and Soren went to see Little Mermaid at Centerpoint. So far Miriam has performed in 2 Little Mermaid Jr's and has seen the musical performed 2 times. The Little Mermaid story has been a big part of my life since I was born (Dad reading me Han's Christian Anderson version as a tot, the Anime version I rented as much as possible from Bill's Home furnishings, the Disney version came out when I was in Jr. high...I saw it like 4 times in the theatre).
Little Mermaid and I are like BFF's. It's funny, Ariel was my fav for the first part of my life, but now I really dig Ursula. It's hard to be a big boned lady with ambition, I love how she bellows her way into the spotlight.
This is what the kids do on winter mornings. The boys are like little ninjas...I am over doing my own thing: making breakfast, packing lunches, look up into the living room and there are blankets with little boys under them. It makes me smile every time.
Space Pirates coming up! The sets are up, lights and sound are working, costumes finished, the makeup is set, the production team is already exhausted. This was suppose to be a smaller low-key play because Lion King was so huge and we were afraid no one would volunteer to take it over after us.
Yeah, well, about that....it just kind of snowballed. These ladies on the production crew are just really enthusiastic, creative and visionary...I am just trying to keep my part up to their level!
But I am having fun. I get to spend time with mom's I already love, and meet new ones. The kids are just buzzing with excitement, I love making them feel special.
Soren saw the trailer for Greatest Showman in November while we were watching Wonder. He said right then and there "I want to see that show!" The rest of us were like..."eh....sure we can Red Box that". Then it comes out and is so popular and everyone is singing the songs (especially Soren). Miriam and Byron end up going with friends...all these weeks later we realize that Soren, the one who was excited before it was cool to be excited had not seen the show!
I fixed that....in deluxe style. This kid is THE MOST FUN to have at a movie. He lives the story right there in the moment. It's like watching two movies at the same time.
