Her birthday fell on the Super Bowl Sunday again this year, which doesn't mean anything to any of us other than it brings back memories of the night (early morning) she was born.
Darin and I watched the Patriots in the SB ten years ago. I would drop to my knees every 8 minutes or so in pain trying to breathe. I called my mom every half hour to which she would always say "don't go until you are howling at the moon". And she was right. It was hard but so much better to be going through it all at home...while Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction....where I could eat or drink anything I wanted....while I got to watch the Pats win (not that I care but it was a distraction). By the time we went to the hospital the whole entire thing from being admitted to holding her in our arms took maybe 3 hours.
And here she is.... a decade later!
Lovely, and strong willed, and super talkative, and over anxious, and creative, and impulsive, and passionate, and smart as a whip, and adventurous and WONDERFUL.
I helped her make her own birthday shirt this year.
The whole thing was such a refection of each of us. She fell in love with the bird silhouette, which I knew would be difficult but I really wanted her to have it if she really wanted it. It became a pleaser vs. pleaser dilemma. She told me it was okay she could pick another design, but I really wanted her to have the one she wanted THE MOST. During the cutting out process I could see things might be rough but by that time we were kind of committed. It didn't turn out perfectly, there are some smudges and some places that could be darker than others. Her face showed the disappointment she felt when we pulled the stencil off. Thats the problem with being a pleaser...sometimes no one ends up being pleased. She felt bad that she was disappointed, I could tell she was trying to hid it.
But then....
she put on the shirt and really did smile. She said it looked vintage. I admitted we probably were overzealous with the design and I should have had her pick another one. And then we both found beauty and value in imperfection and she said she was excited to tell her friends she helped make it which really, isn't that the point of life?? To enjoy the process no matter how it all turns out?
To love the journey, accept the lessons along the way? Find beauty in imperfection?
Am I getting too deep about a t-shirt?
Well...my little girl is 10, I am feeling a little emotional.
Miriam and Bub had a sleep over the night before her birthday which is just about the cutest thing in the world.
While they were sleeping I took the balloons from her birthday party and decorated her room.
We had her open all her little gifts throughout the day.
She dressed in purple for church so we called her the "amethyst princess"
She made her own cake because she loooves baking.
While we were at church a cute couple invited us over for dinner. I thanked her but said since it was Miriam's birthday we had a little party planned. Miriam invited them to come to our house instead.
I was a bit apprehensive about them coming but they were great! So cute with the kids, they really made her day feel special.
Then we checked in with the Super Bowl and cringed at the score...watched all the commercials picking out our favorites and then got the kiddos ready for bed.
Then I held Miriam while she cried herself to sleep because her birthday was over. She told me through tears that she loved her gifts, she had fun at her party, that she was happy Grandma and Grandpa had come to her recital, but she felt so desperately sad. Boy oh boy do I get that sadness. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Which is why I knew that sometimes....the only remedy is to cry it out.

























