I have bi-monthly freak outs worrying that my children won't get enough opportunities in their little lives. I worry that because we can't afford everything, or it's not available, or I don't have the energy that they will somehow miss out on something wonderful and special.
There is only so much time, energy, and resources to go around. I feel like I have to choose SO VERY CAREFULLY, and the pressure is intense, what if I make the wrong choice
and then....something will remind me that if these darlings want something in their lives, it is their choice, and their responsibility to get it. My job is to expose them to the possibilities, show them where the resources are, and teach them how to ask for help.
Case in point.
I have thought it would be fun to put Miriam in an art class. In keeping within our resources/time/my energy, it has always been pushed aside for swim lessons, dancing, gymnastics...all things Miriam has requested (except for swimming, that was a safety thing).
So no art lessons so far. Luckily, we have been going to the library almost weekly since she was born. She has been choosing her own books, music and DVD's (with some guidance from me) for the last 3 years.
She checked out these art videos on her own. Watched them each at least 5 times....
and then went to work.
Even though she only had computer paper and crayola watercolors she created some beautiful artwork while mixing colors in the watercolor lid and, explaining to us which colors were hot and which ones were cold.
So, will I put her in art lessons?
Probably not, because she hasn't asked me for them. She seems perfectly content to learn on her own and do her own thing. The library has lots of resources. For instance, have you seen
Mister Maker? I love when the British children say "Maaak It Meesta Maaka!" in unison.
She has been BEGGING for ice skating lessons. She even used her own money to go ice skating last weekend. When a girl shows that initiative, and expresses such desire, thats when I feel it's my job to step in, shift activities and create the opportunity.
To be honest, I will probably continue to have my freak outs. I am too invested in my children not to. I just wanted to write this experience down, hopefully to become more chill about things.
Zen motherhood...thats what I am striving for.
And now a word about Bub.
His creativity is completely different from Miriam. Bub has a very unique creative process, the way his brain works is a marvel to me!
He can play with playdough for hours, just molding and smashing never making anything in particular. He doesn't enjoy coloring in coloring books or pictures, and does very little drawing. He cares nothing for "staying in the lines" even though I know he can because I have seen him do it. When he does draw, he will take a marker, crayon...whatever and just start playing with it, marking the paper however he choses with no outcome seeming to be in mind. He will go until a picture emerges and then he will proclaim "it's a dragon!", "its an alien with funky hair", "it's the red planet". Once the proclamation has been made he is done, no need to embellish.
He can easily find pictures in clouds, snow, water, whatever is around.
He notices the details in life.
Soren at the moment:
Soren is beautiful, and demanding, and funny.
He LOVES balls and oatmeal and pebble ice.
If you tell him "NO" he will cry like his heart is broken.
He is free standing for a few seconds...longer if distracted.
Mimi, Bub, and Renny-Baby...my pride, my hope, and my joy.
