My last grandparent passed away this morning.
I have never experienced a sudden loss of a close friend or family memeber only the loss of Grandparents.
This is the kind where you experience the loss year by year instead of all the sudden. It's a bunch of "new normals" to get use to, for everyone over and over.
When I was little Grandpa Young was funny, loud and frightening. He was never mean, he just spoke his mind loudly and it was intimidating to me as a kid. Not the huggy warm kind of grandparent, the kind who puts you on his horse named "Stumbelina" and says "don't be scared, you can do it!".
One time (and this only happened once in my life that I remember) we stayed with my Grandma and Grandpa Young while my parents were traveling. My grandpa walked into little restaurant for breakfast singing at the top of his lungs "Good Morning to you, Good Morning to you! We're all in our places with bright shiny faces!" and then introduced me table by table to everyone there.
When I left for my mission he said "I'm proud of you, but don't go out there tetting people what to do or what to believe"....that made me laugh because that was exactly what I thought I was suppose to do. I understood more once I was in Boston talking with the older men who waited outside Catholic Mass for their wives to finish the service. These men were happy, and good, they didn't need me to change their way of life. I understood after my companion and I started to visit a terminally ill young mother, who was perfectly content and happy with her religion but loved singing hymns with us. We were there to support people who were happy and find the ones who needed something else. I was never there to change anyones mind.
Grandma dying was the first loss. Grandpa was so sad, and so lonely. He was still funny, and loud, but he was never the same. My mom started driving over to take care of him, and kept that up until it was unsustainable.
That was the second loss, when he would be scared and confused by our visits. It was disheartening to see him so vulnerable. He was stubborn about not going into a rest home, but after suffering a stroke he had to leave his home. I realized at this time that no matter how old we are, we have to keep facing our fears. I have heard over and over that the only constant in our lives is change, but thats when it really washed over me. I thought leaving my friends behind to go to college was hard, my Grandpa was leaving his home forever. I better figure out ways to manage our anxieties now because my Grandpa taught me that life keeps throwing them our way right until the end. So this was the loss of visiting Grandpa in Huntington...not a lot of reasons to go there anymore when he wasn't there.
Then the rest home years. They were hard on my mom who was such a constant in Grandpa's life. This was a rough transition, with Grandpa waking up in the middle of the night hollering and yelling. When my mom walked in you could see the fears and anxieties wash away from Grandpas faces but she couldn't be there all the time. Grandpa slowly got use to his new normal. Each visit he was a bit more unsure of who we were. I think he could be really testy with my mom and Aunt Leigh but when the grand and great- grandkids showed up he was always ready to party so we only saw happy Grandpa.
When we visited last Thanksgiving he said "Are all these people mine?!"
He loved Hazel and Lora the most, and he never paid attention to babies before
Things change, people change and life is always changing.
Grandpa's graveside service was the first weekend of the state wide (country wide really) quarantine and soft closure of our schools. Technically we were only suppose to be in groups of 10 and stay 3 feet apart. That didn't quite pan out at the family prayer. I have 6 Stilson cousins and 5 of them have 4 or more kids, my siblings and I all have kids, so we were way over in children alone. It was so nice though, to see family and remember Grandpa.
It snowed on our way down...that sleety wet Spring snow, but the sun came out for the graveside service! It was chilly but not cold like I had feared. A man from the Coal Mine Union gave a very sweet tribute, the Glee club sang, a friend spoke and I read the obituary.
He was born August 24, 1928 in Huntington, Utah to Alvin Little and Margaret Ellen Johnson Young. He married Edna Marie Davis on July 1, 1949 in Cleveland, Utah and later solemnized in the Manti LDS Temple.
His competitive spirit helped him to excel in the things he wanted to accomplish. As a young man he excelled in basketball and track. He loved watching his grandchildren play in various sports activities and attended baseball and basketball games at Emery High every chance he got. He spent all of his life in Huntington, where he raised a family and farmed.
He came from a musical family where he learned to love music. He could play the violin and harmonica. At the age of 14, at the firm request of his father, he joined the Huntington Glee Club where he sang tenor until he was 85. At the age of 60 he joined the junior high band in Huntington and learned to play the trombone.
Because of World War II all of his older brothers and his father were called to service. This left the younger brothers to run the farm. He ran the farm for the rest of his life.
He went into the coal mine at the age of 18 and spent over 30 years mining coal.
He loved politics, arguments, and being right.
With a lot of Dramamine, Edna and he traveled throughout the United States on many different tours. They had a lot of fun and enjoyed the sights.
He is survived by three daughters and one son; Robyn and Clyde Rasmussen, Moses Lake, WA; Leigh and Lewis Stilson, Orangeville, UT; Lanice and Art Rasmussen, Price, UT; Damon and Gwen Young; Tooele, UT; 15 grandchildren; 46 great-grandchildren. Also survived by a brother; Val and Darlene Young; Huntington, UT. He is preceded in death by his father and mother, and 7 siblings.
The family would like to express great appreciation to the staff at Pinnacle, Dr. Gagon, Symbii Hospice and Castleview Hospital.
Graveside services on Saturday, March 21, 2020 at 1:00 pm at the Huntington City Cemetery with a viewing Friday, March 20, 2020 at 5:00 – 7:00 pm at the Heritage Funeral Home, 620 North Main, Huntington, Utah
If you have any concerns about attending Dean’s services due to the recent health environment the family understands and knows your hearts are with us and you are thinking of Dean.
