Daring to Be Yourself

A few of you may have heard me talk about my little identity crisis. I took the thrill ride of becoming a mother, and now that the ride has slowed down a bit I find myself a little lost. I think turning 30 may have also been a factor. Darin has told me that I have changed a lot in the 7 years we have been married. He feels like I may have been too influenced my him (my fault not his) and lost a bit of who I was. I can see that, I'm just not sure I can re-become who I was, or if I want to. Truth be told, I have always been a smiley, giddy kind of a person. I am wondering how that translates into this next phase of my life.
My very helpful sister-in-law Cristin suggested I read Daring to Be Yourself by Alexandra Stoddard. I have really enjoyed it (not finished yet), not because it's awe inspiring, or "ah ha" producing, but it asks some interesting questions that have been good for me to think about. The book suggests keeping a sort of journal about things that you like. Taking note of how your senses react to things you see or feel. It also suggests you think about things you have loved in the past. It's taken me awhile to come up with some things, and I am not finished yet but I did think of a few.

Krisit posted about her love for Mary Jane shoes and I suddenly remembered that I love shiny penny loafers with a small square heal. I had a pair every year from 4th grade through 9th when Birkenstocks and Teva's took over. I wore Birks and Tevas because they were popular but before I was so influenced by fads, I remember walking home from school and loving the way my loafers looked with the bright penny. Enjoying the click clack they made on the sidewalk.

Pearls, I feel pretty in pearls. I like the way they look in my ears and I feel comfortable wearing them with almost anything. I love pearls. I am not saying I would turn down diamonds but pearls do feel more me. My parents bought me pearl earings when I was baptized, my dad bought me a pearl ring one year for Christmas, my uncle gave me a pearl for graduation. I wore pearls at my wedding. Whether I choose it, or it was just coincidence, pearls seem to be with me for major life events. I think I will wear pearls the next time I have a baby.
I love maps and globes. I have no idea why or where this one came from. I saw a globe at Costco and wanted to buy it with my birthday money. They were sold out the next time I went, but 2 months later they had one sitting in the book section (probably a return) and I grabbed it without even thinking about it. It's in our living room and I love it! When I see it I feel happy. I now need to find more things that make me that happy so I can have more of them around.

So thats three, and thats a start! It's been a fun process, learning to pay attention to how I react to what I see, smell, hear, or taste. It makes my world a little more fun, more interesting, and has translated in me feeling a bit more grateful for life which is perfect for the season. It was also good for me to shop with Cristin when she was here. Thanks Cristin! Albert Einstein said "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."